Kind of awkward in his body, really smart and one day

Kind of awkward in his body, really smart and one day we were in the room with two kids and it was a very complicated case, he had been here buy Oxaliplatin almost a month and the other side was a little baby and the baby was crying, I watched this big goofy dude go up to this baby and he uses the really quiet voice and sang (singing) oh little baby don’t you cry, I am going to tuck you in, and I was like (big breath) I was just so touched, he was just so comfortable, he tucked him in and the baby stopped crying. Negative responses such as feeling out of place and uncomfortable in an unfamiliar environment were expressed in words such as “intimidating” (n=10),”anxiety,”Med Ref Serv Q. Author manuscript; available in PMC 2016 January 28.Lyon et al.Page”overwhelmed,” “scary,” “disgusting,” “terrifying,” “upsetting,” “shocking,” and even “angry.” Four subjects reported actual physical reactions, ranging from crying to almost fainting. Examples included: Hardest- outside room where someone…had tried to commit suicide, felt empathy, trauma, cried all day. I went on bedside rounds with a medicine team. I do not like seeing sick people ? I was just too warm, we were in the middle of an open ward with closed PF-04418948MedChemExpress PF-04418948 curtains around the patients. I almost fainted from the heat and anxiety of what was behind the curtains. After I was encouraged to sit down and relax ? I was ok. From then on the attending carried smelling salts for me! In many cases, the negative reaction stemmed from a particular event, disease, patient type, or situation. Not surprisingly, hearing the delivery of bad news, either related to serious illness or, in one case, a fatal prognosis, also caused strong reactions. Patient death had a powerful impact (n=5), especially the death of a child (n=2), as shown in these statements: While we were visiting with the patient her son went into cardiac arrest. Team went into action while I ran to the nurses’ station to call for assistance. This was my first experience with a code and the chaos that ensues. It was a complicated and very sad situation… Having never experienced death first hand, the specific episode was very shocking/upsetting to me… Worst experience was talking to a mom that lost a baby and was blaming herself. Other notable stressors included seeing abused or neglected patients, patient codes, and dealing with sick children. Librarians characterized some specialties as emotionally challenging including pediatrics, neurology, breast cancer, and psychiatry. Finally, there was a common sense of empathy for the patients’ suffering (n=9). Examples included: And I did almost 2 weeks on the NICU Blue and I stopped because it was really upsetting for me. The feeling of utter hopelessness when yet another healthy young person begins treatment for HIV infection… There was a young adult male who was being tested to see if he possibly had testicular cancer. I remember so well the concern in his parents’ faces as the team discussed the need to wait until other tests came back to know what was really going on. They did a testicular exam while [we] were there. I remember thinking, wow; this must be very uncomfortable for this young man. The second-most strongly expressed negative responses focused on feeling unqualified, underutilized, or unnecessary. Two subjects reported fear of speaking up; another indicated feeling constrained not to “speak until spoken to.” Two reported feeling “invisible” and others felt the team didn’t understand why they were.Kind of awkward in his body, really smart and one day we were in the room with two kids and it was a very complicated case, he had been here almost a month and the other side was a little baby and the baby was crying, I watched this big goofy dude go up to this baby and he uses the really quiet voice and sang (singing) oh little baby don’t you cry, I am going to tuck you in, and I was like (big breath) I was just so touched, he was just so comfortable, he tucked him in and the baby stopped crying. Negative responses such as feeling out of place and uncomfortable in an unfamiliar environment were expressed in words such as “intimidating” (n=10),”anxiety,”Med Ref Serv Q. Author manuscript; available in PMC 2016 January 28.Lyon et al.Page”overwhelmed,” “scary,” “disgusting,” “terrifying,” “upsetting,” “shocking,” and even “angry.” Four subjects reported actual physical reactions, ranging from crying to almost fainting. Examples included: Hardest- outside room where someone…had tried to commit suicide, felt empathy, trauma, cried all day. I went on bedside rounds with a medicine team. I do not like seeing sick people ? I was just too warm, we were in the middle of an open ward with closed curtains around the patients. I almost fainted from the heat and anxiety of what was behind the curtains. After I was encouraged to sit down and relax ? I was ok. From then on the attending carried smelling salts for me! In many cases, the negative reaction stemmed from a particular event, disease, patient type, or situation. Not surprisingly, hearing the delivery of bad news, either related to serious illness or, in one case, a fatal prognosis, also caused strong reactions. Patient death had a powerful impact (n=5), especially the death of a child (n=2), as shown in these statements: While we were visiting with the patient her son went into cardiac arrest. Team went into action while I ran to the nurses’ station to call for assistance. This was my first experience with a code and the chaos that ensues. It was a complicated and very sad situation… Having never experienced death first hand, the specific episode was very shocking/upsetting to me… Worst experience was talking to a mom that lost a baby and was blaming herself. Other notable stressors included seeing abused or neglected patients, patient codes, and dealing with sick children. Librarians characterized some specialties as emotionally challenging including pediatrics, neurology, breast cancer, and psychiatry. Finally, there was a common sense of empathy for the patients’ suffering (n=9). Examples included: And I did almost 2 weeks on the NICU Blue and I stopped because it was really upsetting for me. The feeling of utter hopelessness when yet another healthy young person begins treatment for HIV infection… There was a young adult male who was being tested to see if he possibly had testicular cancer. I remember so well the concern in his parents’ faces as the team discussed the need to wait until other tests came back to know what was really going on. They did a testicular exam while [we] were there. I remember thinking, wow; this must be very uncomfortable for this young man. The second-most strongly expressed negative responses focused on feeling unqualified, underutilized, or unnecessary. Two subjects reported fear of speaking up; another indicated feeling constrained not to “speak until spoken to.” Two reported feeling “invisible” and others felt the team didn’t understand why they were.